Ake Odomko

Now we’ve met Ake briefly before when interviewing Omo, but never had the opportunity to sit down and talk to her one on one, particularly as in the previous session we were more concerned with containing her husband and stopping our employees from exploding out of every available exit like exasperated pellets from a malfunctioning shotgun. 

We were grateful then that she didn’t bring Omo along to this meeting, seeing as we are already short-staffed and the sight of terrified workers fleeing the studio is proving rather detrimental to our recruitment campaign.

Not nearly as threatening in looks as her partner, Ake Odomko is still a rare sight to behold. Standing 5ft 11in tall and at 27 years old, she is a slim but shapely woman with excellent posture, a graceful poise and wisdom beyond her years.  

Knowing her to be a snake anthropomorph (related to the Pope’s pit viper) and the fact she is partner to the overly-aggressive Omo, we had expected she would be a hard and brash woman, possibly with a short temper. Instead Ake proves to be very placid, relaxed and genuinely in simpatico with her surroundings. Her warm and gentle personality came as a welcome change to the many fire and brimstone, moody teenage, psychopathic, serial killing non-sequitur individuals we interviewed in 2012 (Cursed Luk!).

Ake certainly has an aura of tranquillity and speaks in a surprisingly deep and rounded voice. She is beyond patient, a good listener and a calm mediator, truly the yin to Omo’s yang. A guru to her beliefs, she practices and teaches meditation and healing. 

Ake likes to speak at length of the benefits of inner harmony and balance; she preaches that the attainment of a sound body, mind and soul should be the pinnacle goal of all living things. She tells us that the triad of body, mind and soul should function as equal parts of the whole self, and in turn the whole self should function as an equal part to nature and the surrounding world, or as she serenely clangs, ‘all is one and one is all, many pieces and none at all.’

Her species are primarily nocturnal but in lieu of her love for Omo and teaching she often switches her waking hours to suit the situation; or as she likes to put it, ‘as nature asks Ake will answer.’ We guess her statement is meant to be prolific but can’t help childishly tittering at the fact it sounds more like she has an incontinence problem. Thankfully she smiles and brushes off our amusement.

Infuriatingly Ake always speak in third person. Whether this is an ophidian trait or something to do with being a priestess is unclear. Either way it’s rather grating to be presented with a convoluted string of speech that forces us to sit and untangle it before we have a clue what she is on about.

For example when asked why she never references herself in first person her response is, ‘Ake only uses the name she was given. It is not Ake’s place to take personal possession, even in identity it is improper for Ake to stake claim in selfish words such as I or mine because Ake is but one part of a greater whole in which there is no singular me, only us, as all living things are one and the same, as we are one and the same.’

We’ll give you a minute to read that back three of four times before you presumably conclude that Ake sounds like a stark-raving hippy that ingested too many fairy rings in an attempt to reach enlightenment.

This likely doesn’t sit well with fellow followers of Evyn as Ake is a devout believer of his teachings second only to her own religion. Although she is less the peace and love kind of free-spirit you might imagine and more of a centred warrior-priestess. She can certainly handle herself in combat and appears to have no problem in keeping bestial Omo in check. 

We suppose if he gets too out of hand she can always pump him full of neurotoxic venom, however it is more Ake’s style to induce calm in her enemies and provide healing should they need it. She considers physical violence as rarely necessary but carries a 6ft maple staff which is bound in vines and crowned by a large shard of pink Danburite for just such occasions. (We like to think she secretly also carries it because it gives off that bohemian-chic meets mysterious-priestess-of-the-wild kind of vibe - you know the one.)

In conclusion, we admit we can imagine sitting and meditating around Ake’s leafy shrine with a nice cup of jasmine tea, the kind of reclusive holiday one goes on to feel better about the fact that they actually couldn’t care less about nature. Yet, in all honesty, as pleasant as Ake is, our employees concur that it wouldn’t take long for her halcyon attitude to get on their nerves and that’s only if she refrained from speaking as we are already sick of hearing her name every time she opens her mouth.