Now I mentioned in the last interview
how lycans were high on our ‘crap-yourself-and-run’ index and that we have a
compiled list of those species we consider most terror-inducing, so I should
probably start this article by clarifying that not many things evoke the ‘kill
me now’ kind of fear in us as spiders.
Therefore you might say ‘we weren’t
best pleased’ to learn that this week’s interviewee was going to be an almost
7ft arachnid anthropomorph that is, if you wanted to make a gross
understatement.
In fact those of us hoping beyond hope
that this experience would somehow alleviate our abject terror of arachnids were
instead rudely reminded why we cry ourselves to sleep at night and that
insomnia really is our only friend because whilst Nico turned out to be a most
pleasant man the same cannot be said for Xio Mar.
Being pre-warned that this Xio is
prone to act more on instincts than thought and that he may unconsciously react
in a violent manner only served to heighten our anxieties. The instruction was specific
that we shouldn’t approach him in any way that might trigger his reflexes
unless we wanted to be deftly wall-pinned or view our own innards.
Now this was
fine by me as I hadn’t planned on approaching Xio at all and had drawn several
complex plans of combined mystery illnesses and traffic malfunctions to get out
of being in the same room at any cost. As a last resort I even decided I could
spend the entire interview hiding in the closet with feigned insanity. However
in order to save face (and my neck under zero threat of severe punishment from
my superiors) I decided to be brave, persevere and stand up to one of my greatest
fears.
Although I actually had to sit down,
and ‘sitting down to one of your greatest fears,’ sounds markedly less like
overcoming terror and increasingly more like inviting it in for tea and
biscuits with a defibrillator on hand just for kicks.
It didn’t help to know that Xio Mar
stands a little over 6ft 6in tall and is widely seen as a cunning weapons
expert at the top of his game. At 36years old he is considered an aged member
of his species who naturally possesses increased dexterity and strength in each
of his eight limbs and (joy of joys) can jump extraordinarily high. Extremely attuned
to his surroundings he also exhibits a frighteningly swift reaction time to even
the slightest vibration. Two small blessings are that jumping spiders don’t
spin webs and Xio has no known relatives that might suddenly decide to pop up
for an interview or take grievance with us.
Much to everyone but the security
guards relief he is so overloaded with guns when he first arrives that by the
time he checks in his multitude of weapons our interview time is reduced by at
least a third. We let him keep the bullet-stocked bandoliers and strappings
that adorn many of his limbs, mostly because we are on the clock but also
because a 6ft 6in naked spider isn’t any less terrifying to us than one whose
chest back and legs are bound by magazine clips and darts.
When Xio finally
enters he sits bolt upright in the provided seat with all three sets of arms
folded and just stares at us. In the sturdy impenetrable silence that follows
we presume we are staring back with mouths suspended in chagrined horror; however
the cold shock of meeting Xio is rather paralytic and as such no notes were
taken. Whether our obvious fear bothered him or not is, even now, utterly unfathomable,
since unlike the previous cutthroat mercenaries we have interviewed Xio is calm
and level-headed to the point of being flat and hence is nigh on impossible to
read.
He humourlessly waits instead, in that
lifetime of silence, for us to begin asking the questions. In response all of
his answers are fast, short and icily precise making it impossible to warm to
any aspect of his chilling persona. We suspect he doesn’t like being questioned
but it’s pretty hard to tell if he actually likes or dislikes anything unless
he unequivocally tells us so in that straight up,
cold-as-a-corpse-slapped-on-the-mortuary-table voice of his.
Having so many limbs, eyes and guns it
is obviously difficult for anyone to get the drop on Xio, plus sensing
vibrations means that even when blindfolded he has a good idea of where his
enemies are at all times. A lover of the shadows and silence, we learn he is impatient
in conversation, that he intensely dislikes indirect questioning and also any
form of narrative embellishment to the bare facts. Being a man of action he
hates boasters who ramble on about their conquests and we are quick to pick up
on the fact that the less you say and the more you do, the more likely it is
that he will tolerate you; we say tolerate because we’re pretty sure he’s
incapable of actually liking anyone.
Xio knows he’s the best in his field
of expertise but isn’t conceited enough to be grandiose about it. Quite simply he
tells us he likes ‘facts and guns.’ And as his records confirm Xio does have a
fantastic amount of technical knowledge when it comes to weaponry. Although guns
are his prime speciality from what we are told he also seems to have no problem
with crossbows or blades. In close-quarter combat his preference is hand-to
hand-to-hand, because, as he sharply states, ‘it is far easier and faster to
over-power an opponent with strength than to faff about with a prissy little
knife.’
When it comes to ultimate preference
we are informed that he ‘favours smgs’ (that’s sub-machine guns to you and I)
since they are single-handed weapons and he can hold six at once to cover all
directions. He tells us that he keeps spare clips strapped to his body for fast
reloads without the need of a free hand, because well, we presume even six
hands are never enough. When using two-handed guns, Xio states that he likes to
take two for firing forward and a third behind his back so he can quickly switch
the reloads and maintain continuous fire.
Whilst obviously not a people-person Xio
does have a merry band of unsavoury acquaintances who work for him in the deep
underground of Naiva; previous interviewees Charrock, Argo and Si'Ra were in
fact quite high up in his chain of command until the four of them had a falling
out. Xio is tight-lipped about the affair, which isn’t exactly surprising as
there doesn’t seem to be anything he isn’t tight-lipped about.
Yet as it stands Xio still works at
the forefront of this ‘dark arts’ troupe, a crime boss of sorts, although he is
not their leader so much as the guy who currently has the most firepower, money
and biggest reputation for murdering anyone who doesn’t do as instructed. We
are told anyone can join his troupe though it isn’t highly recommended as the
death toll for newcomers by their peers is remarkably high.
We doubt he views his organisation as
a criminal one seeing as anything together enough to be organised in any sense
of the word is a blessing in the cities of Vidul. An every, man, fish, dog and
spider for himself kind of place, the lowest of the low reside in the
interconnected tunnels and caves that run beneath the island of Naiva. From there Xio and his workers largely provide
protection rackets, grand ‘retrieval’ missions (better known as larceny) and of
course the thing his troupe is most renowned for; assassination.
We doubt he has any hobbies outside of
work and honestly daren’t ask.
Thinking about other aspects of this man’s life,
such as what he eats for example quite frankly scares the beluk out of us. Needless
to say all breathe a sigh of relief when the interview finally ends. Cheerless
as ever Xio passes us a business card on his way out of the door and we don’t
know whether to laugh or cry.
